I thought about you and Andrei a lot today as I drove home from Utah. I wish you could have been in the car with me and sitting beside me playing hand games and looking at my fingernails like you always used to do. I imagined you walking around the playground outside and riding that big bike you used to ride outside of the orphanage. Remember how you used to sit in the big basket and yell at Maria to pedal but she couldn't because you were too heavy...and once you went in oras to get apples with Simona and you came back with a succor in your mouth and an apple in your hand. Before you left the playground I asked you where you were going and you said, "in oras" (in the city) and then you said "pa, Alyssa" (bye) to me. The first thing you did when you came back was give me a sticky kiss and show me the prized apple in your hand.
You used to throw yourself against me and hug me so hard it hurt. It kind of scared me at first because you were a big girl:) By the end of the summer I was getting somewhere around 15-20 of these hugs on certain days and I loved it; I couldn't get enough of it. I loved the way you held on tight and stroked my fly away hairs and breathed on my neck and gazed into my eyes for a few seconds before you ran off and went back into your own little world, rocking back and forth on your feet, riding your bike around dangerously because you always looked straight down, and hitting the toddler's bums because that was your way of showing them affection.
Before I left for Romania I read a quote that I thought was brilliant:
To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Adina, Ralph Waldo Emerson can say beautiful things, but I think he is wrong. I was never out to win your affection so I could claim success as my own. I remember your tokens of affection now with such fondness. It brought so much joy to my heart to see you skipping back to the main room after lunch time and turn around for a split second and yell, "pa Alyssa" and "mine tu?" (you are coming tomorrow?) before I left the orphanage for the day.
Adina, To earn your affection was BLISS. It was a BLESSING. It was BEAUTIFUL. I love you and miss you every day. Take good care of Maria.
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